So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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