Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
