i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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