i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
