all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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