does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
