Can i not drive my cunt home
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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