i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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