ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
