i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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