I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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