I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
