Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
