THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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