Don't you send me to vm
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
