U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
