Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
