Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
