Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
