He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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