her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Swine flu is the new snow day.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
