Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize