I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
