oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
