Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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