She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
