well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
