I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
