I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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