It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
