Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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