Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
there was a trapeze. enough said
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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