mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
