you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize