I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
