I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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