i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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