and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize