A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
