I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
