Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
