I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize