I cockslap morals
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
