Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
