And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
