JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
