I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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