You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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