I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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