Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
