How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
