I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
