I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
