I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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