In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
