Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
