i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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