butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
