there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize